“How the hell did you DO that?” I asked my friend Kaz, who had shrunk 16kg since the last time I had seen her… “Here’s the website”, she said, “I don’t want to influence you. Go check it out and if it resonates with you, just do it.” This she said to 95kg me. I’m 62 years old. Like everyone else on this program, I had tried everything, spent buckets of money and had resigned myself to being fat.
I couldn’t believe it. “Kaz! There’s a seminar next weekend in Wangaratta!” It was like a sign. I lived on the Gold Coast and Kaz in Melbourne. I’d come down to hang out with Kaz for a few weeks as we hadn’t seen each other for years. “Good,” she said, “I’ll take you.” And that was how I shrunk 30kg. The end. Not really. It was only the beginning. I always knew there was a missing link, it seems there are 4 and these are the basis of the program. None of the gurus I’d paid to help me overcome my life time issue with food had ever addressed these. I felt like I had come home to myself. Now I had the tools to finally connect my brain and my body.
The ‘homework’ on the first night got rid of all the crap I had been hanging onto. I already felt lighter.
I’m not gunna lie. The first 3 days I was as sick as a dog. Probably because of the chock-top and block of chocolate I ate at the movies the night before I went into pre-hibernation. Take a word of advice. Don’t do it. I heard myself say, ‘I’m not going to be able to do this’ and then followed the bouncing ball. Rewarded in the first week with a 6kg loss, I felt myself saying, ‘mmm, maybe I CAN.’
Here are some of the things I did to support myself during the program.
I made it my sole focus. I read my ‘why’s’ every day. After all, if Kaz could do this, there was no reason I couldn’t. My why’s helped me remember why I had started the journey in the first place. The main one was I was ashamed to stand next to my daughters.
I hit a flat spot about 13kg in. A week went by. No weight loss. What the heck? I was doing all the right stuff. Coaching really helped. I couldn’t have stayed on track without it. It kept me accountable and I was provided encouragement and useful tips. I hadn’t really been paying attention to quantities of food… ‘she’ll be right’, I thought. I was eating mainly fresh fish and salad. What I hadn’t realised was that the freshly caught barbeque fish I was delighting in weighted more than 5 times the recommendations. I looked at the fish and worked out what I was actually supposed to be eating and went into a panic. “I’m going to starve”, I thought… The panic was real. Cold sweats, heart palpitations. Then I started the breathing exercise right at the table…”Just try it and see. I made a deal with myself that if it wasn’t enough I would come back and have more in spite of what James said. I was absolutely shocked to find that not only was it enough, I had no hunger and felt really content. I had overeaten for so many years I had no idea how much fuel my body really needed. It was an incredible experience to make that connection. One that has stayed with me. I don’t have to eat the plate clean. I know when is enough. I could have cried. I think I did.
The next major realisation was the voices had stopped. You know the ones that scream at you when you are in front of the fridge demanding that you eat. Something. Anything. Where had they gone? Trust me, I looked for them. Those voices had plagued me for 50 years. I had clarity in my mind for the first time in years.
The next hurdle I hit was about 18kg in. My eating was spot on. I was doing everything right. I was ready to cave in. I started to convince myself this was as far as I could go – and that was pretty good right. I hadn’t been this light in years. I started reading the book in regard to how stress impacts the autonomic nervous system. What was the ‘rotten prawn’ I had missed? Then it dawned on me. I was absolutely furious with the real estate agent who was handling the sale of my home. After changing agents, getting the price I wanted, the day after the sale went unconditional, I dropped a kilo overnight. Just like that. Bloody James, right again. I had followed the bouncing ball, utilised the techniques and enjoyed the pay off. I went dancing that night.
The last 5kg were a bit slower I teetered a kg off my goal of 66kg for a couple of weeks. I would just grin and follow the bouncing ball. I started pulling out the suitcases of clothing I couldn’t bear to get rid of. All my favourite clothes, some from 20 years ago, were resurrected. It was so exciting.
I had stopped looking at cheesecake and deserts without salivating weeks ago. They no longer had any appeal, it was like I was immune. Walking through supermarkets, most of the isles are now just a blur, there’s nothing of interest for me any more.
Going out is easy. There’s always an option. And more often than not I’m the pain in the arse that asks the chef for a little tweak to his menu. It’s never gone badly and I always leave a tip.
Two weeks ago my girlfriends of nearly 30 years, and I did a 1920’s make over. We played dress ups like 8 year olds. It was so much fun. Some of those photos found their way to Facebook. Lots of people didn’t recognise me. I didn’t recognise myself.
7 months and 30kg later I am the me I always wanted to be. And as I write that I feel a gush of emotion. And it’s not ‘I did it’. It’s ‘I’m doing it’. I just keep following the bouncing ball, day after day. It is the most liberating feeling to walk into a dress shop and pick up anything – and it fits even my feel dropped two sizes. I’m through maintenance now, and being a size 10 just feels ‘normal’. How did that ever happen!!
Thank you James, honestly, thank you, you bloody talk a lot but every word is medicine. To my coach, Michelle, I couldn’t have done this without you.
To my daughters, I love you. It’s so nice to actually look like your mother.
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